You’re Perfect, Sort Of…

I often struggle with my self-esteem. Most days, I don’t really like me. Most days, I wish I could be someone, anyone, else. I see people who are friendly and make people feel good when they walk in the room, and I desire to be like that. I see someone who seems to have things figured out, good job, nice home/things, seems cool and collected and I wish to be him. I see someone who just naturally smiles and I want my face to do that so people won’t think I’m angry all the time.

I have issues with my personality, my appearance, my skill set, just about everything that makes me me. I often try hard to change, but I just end up right back where I started. Me and my angry/annoyed looking resting retail face.

It makes me wonder why I am the way that I am. Why am I so shy? Why can’t I light up the room? Why can’t people see me and want to be around me because of how I make them feel? What is so wrong with me?

As I sit and stew and ponder those kinds of questions, I’m often reminded that God doesn’t do anything by accident.

God made Abram and Sarai unable to have children, until the time was right. God made Noah’s heart strong enough to withstand the storm. God led the Jews through the wilderness for 40 years to prepare their hearts. All along, God had a plan of salvation through Jesus (Gen. 3:15). He knew that even though He gave Moses the laws for the Israelites to follow, that their hearts would harden and they would turn from Him. He knew that they would need the Lamb of God’s sacrifice to save them. Each step along the way was not an accident.

When Jesus was born, the Magi followed the light from a star to find Him. From what we know about stars, they don’t just instantly glow brighter for us. It can take CENTURIES for the light from that star to reach the earth. So when the star began to glow brighter for them to follow, that star had to become brighter at the source (perhaps supernova) long before it would ever be seen by those 3 wise men. That wasn’t an accident.

The leaves of plants have an interesting part called the stoma. The stoma is actually a vital part of the plant. Stomata are small pores on the underside of the leaves on most plants that can open and close. In most climates, the stomata will close at night. These openings allow the transfer of gasses (photosynthesis, making oxygen for us) and allow excess water to be removed from the plant.

The really interesting thing about stoma comes from multiple research studies. When exposed to bird song, the stomata will open wide. With the absence of bird song, they will close. So, when the birds go to bed at night and stop their chorus, the stomata close for the night. In the wee hours of the morning, as the birds begin their chorus, the stomata open again. That is not an accident.

If you look at the human body, there are so many complex organs and processes with many more complex interactions between them. There is so much going on that it is both art and chaos. Chance, as from evolution, doesn’t create art. It may create chaos, but there has to be something to keep that chaos organized enough to function, hence the art. I firmly believe from what I have seen and learned over the years, that something had to create the human body. There’s just no way that enough completely random things could happen at the same time to create something so mindnumbingly complex. There is too much art and beauty in the human body. There is no way this was by accident!

If major players in the Bible, in both Old and New Testaments, astrological events, botany and biology are not accidents, then I don’t believe that we as individuals are either. I believe that, no matter how imperfect we are, we were created to be very specifically who we are. For some, they are close to who God calls them to be. For others, we may be a long way off.

But we were still created to be who we are. God needs some of us to have to make some big changes in who we are to help show His Glory. He needs us to be weak and learn to lean on Him for the world to see His Love.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Who ever we are, whatever our faults, whatever our failures, whatever our flaws, when we accept Jesus into our lives and we let Him do His work in us, He makes us new! We won’t just wake up one day and be a totally different person. Instead, when we look back in a few years, we will be amazed by just how far we have actually come.

It takes work to allow Jesus to change and transform us. We have to actually trust Him. That’s the thing I probably struggle with the most, trusting someone else to lead the way, even though I know things haven’t worked out that great by leading the way myself! You have to be intentional in your faith. You have to make sure that you’re seeking that relationship and giving Jesus enough room in your life to make those changes in you that He needs to.

On the days that I struggle with myself, I try to think of these kinds of things. I look back at the person that I was just a few short years ago and I have come a good distance from that person. I look at who I was 20 years ago and almost don’t recognize myself, for the better. I try to remember that Jesus is working in me, the way that only He can. I may never be exactly who I want to be, but I will be who He wants me to be, each step of the way.

He prepares you for what He calls you to do. And there are so many examples of that in scripture and in the people around us. I know people who you would have never thought would even go to a church, be transformed and be in leadership/pastoral positions. Moses was a bit of a loner and lead an entire nation of people to freedom. Each of the disciples had character flaws and sins that would have made it seem to be a miracle for them to completely transform the world through their faith. God has worked in each person since the beginning of time to lead them and prepare them for His calling, His purpose.

Maybe I am just who I need to be today. Perhaps tomorrow, with His help, I’ll be someone a little different, a little better.